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August 5th, 2006

09:49 pm: Full day!
Draped at home now, preparing to rip through more anime (or perhaps marking?). Lots of energy from a whole day of going out with friends...

It was interesting, to watch people shooting for the first time. I haven't seen it in a while, since everyone takes lessons from somewhere or other nowadays and I'm always hiding out in the depths of East Singapore anyway. Made a wee boo-boo not having enough to eat in the morning, so the shooting part was kind of wearing. This won't happen tomorrow, though, since I think we ate our way from 7pm-9pm afterwards.

Feel really good now. And super full. Heh.

Current Mood: chipperchipper
12:17 am: Arcade and Pool!
Gawd, this feels *damn* good. Went out with a bunch of pple to just be mad and let all the stress go, and boy, did it just whisk out the window.

Played pool for the first time in goodness knows how long, and arcade (not since that time I had my pockets picked!) too.

Super tired now, but just had to make a note because I actually feel somewhat sated. For now.

Shooting tomorrow! With friends!! :D

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

August 3rd, 2006

10:07 pm: Feel-good day
Just watched Inuyasha chop up Sesshomaru, and just feel damn good. Heheh. There's something about guys who promise to protect and obviously, are actually able to act on that promise. Quite sad otherwise, no? Watching something like that invariably gives rise to the sense of wanting to be protected, even if I jolly well know I'm fine and able and not particularly weak or anything.

Weird, in a way.


Well, time to have a look at sticking something together now. Rrrrrrrrrrr :)

Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
12:40 pm: Gem of the day!
So. Apparently, the head of the kampung that at least one of the kids (I suspect more) live in has a name. It's Lee Seng Long. Seriously.

And on rolls another day...

Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: ELT

August 2nd, 2006

07:15 am: The earliest LJ in history...
Well, other than the ones I make after staying up all night, this has *got* to be a new record :)

It's a brilliant morning, after yet another week of sneaky lateral movement *whishhht* The path forward from hereon is clear. Hopefully this means a smooth passage past the 1200 barrier (official), though I'm doubtful, as usual, about the usual blocks and trips that seem to just *appear*.

Oh well. Anime rules, and I wanna start my research again! And no, they're two completely separate things.

And THIS is what mornings should be. Heck. Entire days! *wheeeeeeeee*

Current Mood: energeticenergetic
Current Music: Sunset

July 31st, 2006

11:24 am: Fice and Lege...
And so it comes, as I knew it would, so many months ago. It's a journey I don't know how to continue, don't know how to end. Something is breaking inside me, an amorphous sense of grief laced with bitterness and regret.

Looking back at the carnage painted over the last few years of my life, I wonder if it was worth it, if I can afford to keep going on like that. So many cracked smiles, superglued by sheer will to succeed. So close now, yet the doubt. Perhaps the price was not meant to be paid.

All the friends who have stood by me, walked with me and let me go. I only hope I can find the strength to join you again.


Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: Kuroyume

July 28th, 2006

05:03 pm: Somewhat in the afternoon...
You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed
Actively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas.
You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding.
You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force.

An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people.
You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor.
People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all.
You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone.

Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

Any seekers or peacemakers out there? Lemme burn you up! *lolololol*

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
07:55 am: Brightbright cheery morning!
Yay! Having one of those odd mornings when all seems suspiciously right. *wonders what's going to happen later* -.-

Something very strange happened, though. Drew from my Oracle deck for a somewhat curious question and received a very unexpected, but strangely apt, answer. Hm well, we'll see.

It's no wonder that my fascination with cards haven't passed, since the first curious teenage encounter, fortune-telling with poker cards. In the years that have gone by since that initial foray via sleepovers and bridge breaks, I have always been pleasantly surprised to find that they did tell true. Not that it made my life better by much, since (like my dreams) I haven't exactly been consciously manipulating the knowledge. In fact, I wonder if I am being manipulated by them? Probably not - it wouldn't explain how the people castings work.

And yet, I am drawn to cards constantly. After poker, there was the tarot spread. My my, how complex that is. It is a continual source of mental exercise to comprehend the interpretation process. Which is part of the fun of living, after all - who wants to know everything about themselves?

Now the oracle cards, in constant use since I have begun to encounter ever more stressful situations. I like this deck, there's a sense of peace and comfort imbued in its use.

Which brings me to the next thought. At the age of 13-14, I thought only as far as when I would be 28-30 years old. What comes after? Perhaps the cards will tell.

Thank you for the beautiful days, the tranquility in my spirit. Thank you for making my life better by being there for me. Thank you for my iPod, my stubbornness and backbone. Thank you for granting me that with which to fight back, and also sensitivity and kindness to temper its use. Thank you for the rekindled memories of survival, for the knowledge that I'll not go so lightly.

Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Angel of Music

July 27th, 2006

08:44 am: Chugging along...
Yesterday was an interesting round-up to a period of sluggish mental activity. Within 15 minutes of shopping, I sorted out the things I could do around the other things I can't do anything about - retail therapy works!

Anyway, sometime between trying out a pair of bermudas and acquiring (yet) another pair of shoes, my mind moved into mao mode. Not the Chairman, I mean the feline variety. The way they just swirl along in life and saunter through whatever chaos comes their way.

So. I've decided on what I have to do, and the rest is all cleaning my whiskers and watching, and waiting. Heck with the nuttertots and whatever they're plotting next, I just have to clean their guts off my points for the rest of the year. As for work, that should be nothing. I ought to keep that in mind clearly. I think I'll print out something nice for the desk. :)

Right. Good end to that part, good start to the next season. Mrrrrrrrrrow.

Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
Current Music: Slamdunk OST

July 26th, 2006

03:25 pm: Boredom and access to the Internet. The most amazing way of making sure people do weird surveys. So here's the harvest for the day :)

Your Five Factor Personality Profile


You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."


You have low conscientiousness.
Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously.
Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions.
Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done.


You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.


You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

Your EQ is 160

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

Did I lie? Maybe I'm just crazy :D

Current Location: Boredom Central
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: ........
08:48 am: Identity Crisis and a rambling update
I find it hard to breathe. Really. Am having a bit of a sore throat and it's killing me that I can't talk (ha). Eating is obviously a pain, which explains why I evade it at the moment. So there was a good thing about gaining nirvana last week after all! This week, the body's not even saying anything to me anymore - I think it's trying to save its energy.

So anyway. Back to the identity crisis. It's hard to have a split identity, I think. But I don't see any other way. The predatory instincts just have to be shelved at work - that's not the kind of person I want to be. And yet on the field, I am helpless without the fangs, claws, scales and briars around my person. It hurts then, to be small and harmless. It pains me to go through the same cycle after each disappointment.

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

April 11th, 2006

07:12 am: And it ended as suddenly as it began
I still don't understand. An entire night of searching and worrying and basically freaking out, and it turns out she got herself into a cupboard? And not just any cupboard... it's in my home for the singular purpose of giving one of the other cats a nice place to perch and look out of the window. It's door is turned against the wall, so that cats aren't ever able to get in.

I'm still stunned in amazement. Ended up sitting hours by the open doorway, hoping she would wander back in, and not a peep from her?? Mind you, this is a cat that's quite vocal if she gets stuck somewhere uncomfortable in the house - like my walk-in wardrobe. And she spends hours in a little cubbyhole not much larger than a regular CRT monitor with nary a sound?

She was finally found, to much relief, because of a suspicious rustling noise, that turned out to be the window mesh rubbing against a vibrating cupboard.

My question is: If she got in, how come she got stuck?? And how did she make it in there in the first place!?

Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Current Music: It's a little hard to have feelings after a night like this
01:22 am: Still searching...
Been looking around the neighbourhood almost non-stop. He's out there now still searching, wants me to sleep coz of school tomorrow. But HOW COULD I????? She's definitely not in the house. She loves aircon and having snacks so much, she would've come out by now if she were here.

So far, combed through every longkang and clambered all over the ledges on the HDB block, still no sign of her... She's so small and quiet when she wants - how can anyone find a cat that knows all the tricks about being "invisible"?? And so many things out there that could hurt her and scare her and basically make her life miserable...

Worse... think I saw a cloud looming over the horizon. She hates being cold and wet :'(

Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: and more depressed with every minute...

April 10th, 2006

11:31 pm: My little princess went missing today...
And I wish I knew what happened. She was in the room when I took a nap, and sometime after that, she has just disappeared from the entire house! We've searched *everywhere* she could possibly be, and I even thought I heard her miaow once, in that soft squeaky way she does. But nothing! Not a trace. Even her brothers have no idea where she could be. Even thought she might have gone against her basic character and sneaked out the door when the dog went for a walk, so we went searching outside for her.

You've got to understand, she's a very VERY timid cat. Knock on the door of my home, and she'll find a corner to hide. Breathe at our doorway, and she'll already be taking shelter. How could a cat like that even make it out the corridor doorway?! (Which quite frankly, she finds completely terrifying) But how could she then not be in the house? Turned everything upside down trying to find her, and for such a plump cat, there's not really many places to hide around here.

Please let her be safe and sound, and just be having an abnormally long nap somewhere in my house... even if she trespassed into one of the rooms she's not supposed to go or something... >.

Current Location: Home...
Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: and depressed, and upset, and a whole lot of other downs

March 7th, 2006

12:54 pm: Riffling the pages of the past
Just looked over the last few entries.... vetting before some student onslaught, sorta. (I am convinced it's only a matter of time before they discover this site, heh)

I realised that 2005 was an amazingly thin year for diary entries, despite the fountain of new experiences that popped up in that time. I mean... I missed adding my glorious holiday in NZ, and nary a mention of the trip to Korea... understandably silent about the whole NT hooha thinguminy but seriously, there was a bunch of life-changing stuff going on. And all captured only in the lines I just wrote. Heh. Weird.

I'm still having great times at work, exercising the vocal chords with regularity on recalcitrant types. Most students are quite sweet though - if you ask nicely, it works. Some take a little roaring to back down, and I had to scold some students, which (oddly) made me feel darned guilty. Like I should have been able to do something else, found some other way...

But no, it's not really tearing me apart. I'll just look about and see what I can do next time around, heh. Seriously think the munchkins got over it a lot faster than I anyhow.

Off to another class... the little lovelies (kekekekekeke)

Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: We Are The Champions - Queen

February 23rd, 2006

12:11 pm: Of School and Such
Yeesh, gotta be the most boring and happening week of my teacherly life so far. Reported for practicum, and the school is (almost) completely fantastic - hey, nowhere's perfect, right? I just haven't found the kinks yet though - with great atmosphere and students.

This being observation week, and me being a lucky lucky girl, I've had a very light schedule, which meant much free time to explore the *entire* school and surf net for Lang and Lit exercises :D

Anyway, that's just my excuse for peeking on LJ, and finding the following tidbit from Jaer's page ;)

What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?
What makes you sexy?Your lips
What makes you pretty?Your eyes
What makes you loveable?Who could love you?!
What makes you fun?Your positive attitude
What makes you irresistable?Your flirtatious nature
What makes you cute?How you kiss/hug
Quiz created with MemeGen!

p.s. Oy. Whaddya mean "Who could love me!?!" *sad*

Current Mood: chipperchipper

January 23rd, 2006

03:20 pm: Waiting for a discussion meeting
Had to happen sooner or later... stuck til 6.30 to meet up with a tutor in my presentation group... Sianz and just want to sleep (amazing what coffee can do for you in meantime).

Anyway, couldn't resist... haha

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.
Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

You are best known for: your touch

Your dominant state: changing

Current Mood: complacentcomplacent
Current Music: None. In the Library...
01:23 am: Back Home Again!
Popped off over the weekend to Bangkok to take part in a minor archery competition organised by Kasetsart University with the Prisons Recreational Club (did I mention I have a part-time membership with yon other civil servants??) Some good fun to be had and did a little shopping in the limited time - totted up some good working clothes and a year's supply of socks :)

Shoot-wise, I shot horribly in the first round (lower than my regular score) and improved a little bit in the second round to run off with the individual bronze. And me brilliant team of lovelies took home the gold. Ranked individually at 3rd (me), 4th (Mabel) and 5th (See), we pretty much had that deal sealed :)

I have to say, I'm quite impressed by the team trophy - it's huge. Most local shoots just hand you a medal each and shoo you out of their way. This one gave both medals to each archer and a shiny big thing for the club to display in some mouldy cabinet. OTOH, local shoots award trophies to individuals, whereas the KU shoot threw out more medals...

Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: Something showing on Channel 8

January 17th, 2006

01:45 am: Yes I'm still alive...
The above title is meant for all the LJ friends who are convinced I have passed away sometime about graduation ;) Unfortunately, with MOE being what it is, they'd hardly release me from their dollar-tipped clutches yet... not unless they've gotten their money's worth anyway... and not in the least to a mere niggly thing like Death. So, I am still about.

Just read through my last few entries, almost all about school and archery... and doesn't really look like it's going to change, either, considering my profession. And yet, there've been a slew of changes in my life, not all particularly major or important to anyone but myself. First up, as I said, MOE's finally got me, and not a cent less than 100+k will change that ;) Good for me, not so sure about the SG youth who'll have to deal with me...

Secondly, I've moved into a different location for shooting. Now a nice place with beautiful grounds and mostly lovely people around me, I cannot remember when I was happier in the sport. That's what staying away from the NT politics will do for you, really. So I like this a lot - I'm doing what I should be doing, just shooting.

The other changes are kind of small and insignificant, involving some new friends, a bunch of new games, and my own amazement at tenaciously maintaining the reading habit despite all signs pointing to the contrary towards the end of my university stint. Some wouldn't be surprised, I know, not least primary school mates. :)

Oh. Speaking of which, a late update on that... it seems the primary school is doing excellently well, and recently celebrated its 25th anniversary with a gala dinner. Yours truly forked the greens to attend, but only because I desperately sought to see an exceptionally important person who had had a major impact on my young life. Made it, and am very pleased, too :)

There. Enough to last another year, maybe. Or maybe not...

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Las Vegas OST - Let It Ride

June 16th, 2005

11:53 am: Later in the year...
Whee... had a look at my last five entries, and it's been practically forever! By now, I've (almost) graduated - at least the exams are over - and I'm headed into NIE next week. I've also spent a couple of weeks in Korea, had some fun, and a couple hackles raised. Having all the messy things settled took ages, and I'm only just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel this week, so at least I'm right back to where I want to be, just shooting my days away...

Bliss is at the end of an arrow, just a click away.

Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: Angels Among Us - Randy Travis
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