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04:24 am: O Princess, why have you left us...
She has gone to deliver the plans for Armageddon, and reveal its key weakness to the Rebels in Heaven. Maybe.

I am so sad I do not think I can sleep tonight. I don't know when I will. My heart is broken, my first real princess gone. When I was very very young, I adored She-Ra. Rainbow maned unicorn aside, that woman kicked ass, and did it hard. She wasn't quite real though. Another strong-willed woman with agency didn't arrive until Leia. I didn't understand her allure, and I thought her gold bikini was pretty, not demeaning. But I understood the chains, and felt triumphant that she, and no other, choked that gross turdcreature that put them on her. With his own chains, no less. I liked that she could use a blaster. And when I got older and discovered Carrie Fisher, there was only more to love. She lived a beautiful, rich life, full of everything life had to give, and everything life had to throw at every girl ever. And she kept kicking it in the balls, and throwing glitter at it. Right through Episode VII; I wonder if they worry that they've killed the wrong character now. The nearest I ever came to her, was at Celebration this year. I think I breathed the same air for a bit, at least, because we were in the same halls. But I didn't pay to see her. I'm undecided as to whether I regret it, now she's gone. I think it might have hurt more had I met her, and now I wonder when the rest will go.

My whole FB wall is covered in the tears of fans. Not just the 501st people I just got to know this year, but old friends, art friends, school friends, internet friends, student friends... the list goes on and on. That is how deeply she has touched the lives of many. And I am but one more mourner in the galaxy whom she would never know, I guess. Gary probably hurts much more, too.

I have never seen her in any other movies... I guess I'm not such a crazy fan after all. But it hurts that she's gone to the biggest, baddest, concert in the history of Heaven, and is probably frolicking there and sassing them all. I am so sorry to see you go, so sorry that I could not have seen you for real on the silver screen just one more time.

Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra - Princess Leia's Theme
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